10 anxiety hacks for those in denial about their crippling, high anxiety

Here's a few things that have drastically helped me, and I hope they help you, too.

One year ago, my soul cat, Niko, passed…out of nowhere and while I was out of town. It crushed me. Looking back, this was the moment my anxiety began a journey from manageable to downright problematic and counter-productive. As we all know, a few weeks later the presidential election devastated us further.

My anxiety dive went even deeper.

I’ll never forget my first public outing after the election. I avoided the public for a couple weeks—as long as I could—but then my husband had a big performance for his band, and I wanted to support him.

I live in a place that is about 70%+ maga, or right-leaning at best. When Kamala lost, I felt personally betrayed by everyone in my town (even though I am lucky enough to surround myself with a large cohort of loving friends who align with me).

I knew what a trump win meant. Everything that is happening now—and for a lot of you reading this—you also likely knew all of this was going to come to fruition…and fast.

So when I went out that night, I felt something I had rarely felt before: a combination of social anxiety, fear, betrayal and general get-me-the-f-outta-here vibes. I’m normally quite social, and I live in a smallish city where I can typically find someone I can yap with when I attend a social event.

But the jolt I experienced from being my usual cool, calm, collected, unbothered-self….to extremely bothered was something I hadn’t experienced in a long time. It messed with my head.

Being politically attuned comes at a cost. And we entered the donald trump reality show before we even processed the first n*zi salute on live television, which meant we were immediately throwing into a 24/7 political content roller coaster ride every day. The whiplash was astounding.

I wrote my first Substack article in February, which was a manifestation of my anxiety, because planning and preparing give me some sense of control in a world of chaos. And then when it went viral, I felt validated and—even cared for—in my anxiety.

But reality was hitting every day. My doomscrolling got worse and worse by the day, and to say we are acutely aware of the blatant racism towards the Latino community is an understatement. The travel ban affected our family, and we know people who were targeted and deported. We were having daily discussions of worst-case scenarios and where would we go, what would we do. Not to mention the plethora of every other devastating event happening an an almost daily basis.

I finally decided enough was enough.

I can be aware, I can fight, and I can carefully consume…but I decided that I cannot fall into a hole of despair and daily hopelessness.

Since that decision a few months ago—and specifically one decision in particular—I am astonished and happy to report that I am on a road to healing and embracing joy.

Now, I almost can’t believe how much it was affecting my every day life.

I have a mom to 2 beautiful twin 5-year-olds. I have a kind, loving, honest and hard-working husband. I have a career that I love and flexibility I’ve always dreamed of. I have a beautiful home. Close and caring friends and family nearby. Regular vacations. Health (well, to some degree still!)

But I felt like I was missing it all.

my girls consoling me on a particularly hard day

And you know what’s crazy to me now? The amount of time I spent convincing myself that I was a high functioning, high achiever operating at a normal anxiety capacity, despite my cloud, is exhausting just thinking about now. I thought I had an anxiety super-power. I convinced myself that I could allow anxiety to come in and then release it. Maybe I could in the past, but now…in 2025, it became crystal clear that I was not in fact releasing it.

So here are the things that changed. Some of them started a while back but were floundering without an anchor. Once I decided to do #2, all of my efforts started to link up—like each effort helped the other one out, lifted each one up. I feel like I am finally reaping the benefits of all of them. There’s synergy now.

So here goes…10 things to help you with your crippling anxiety that you are maybe in denial about:

1. Therapy - and not just any therapy…I’m talking about finding a therapist that really clicks with you. I started going to therapy in the spring of 2024, and I go about once or twice a month, and it has been an absolute game-changer for me. It’s crazy how much you can learn, process and grow when you are able to put a name to things you couldn’t before and when you’re given specific space to work through issues.

2. Anti-depressants - ok, let’s be real…this isn’t a hack so much as it is a straight-up solution, or at least it has been for me. This is now my anchor. It’s been such a life changing transformation that I genuinely laugh at what I’ve been missing out on. What’s all the taboo and fear about? Maybe it’s that there are still stereotypes around them like that they are numbing, or that it feels like giving up, or that it’s admitting that you actually are messed up.
   
   Well, let me tell you something: I don’t feel numb, I don’t feel like I’ve given up or that I’m a failure. I feel the opposite. I feel like I am fully working towards reaching my potential. I feel freer, more hopeful, more resolute, mentally stronger and more human than I have in a LONG time. I am enjoying the simple things in life more. I have zero shame—in fact I want to scream it from the rooftops so that others (maybe you!) can get in on this magical secret!

3. Get Creative - this is a perfect example of how I was trying one-off solutions to be more creative but couldn’t really connect and intentionally work towards this goal until I had #1 and #2 in my life. My therapist recognized my burnout (one of my main symptoms was that I was having a difficult time completing even the simplest tasks), and so she gave me homework: go be creative just for creativity sake—no work or politics involved.
   

   I immediately booked a pottery class I’ve been dying to take for years. I finally baked my first homemade bread loaf, I color-by-number before bed with my mushroom cocoa and I want to try candlestick making next—who am I!? (I know this answer: I am more connected to my childhood creative curiosity than ever before.)

   

4. Writing - This maybe goes hand in hand with #3, but there’s something about putting thoughts to paper that have been very healing for me—especially when you get positive or affirmative feedback, which I have, thankfully. This year I’ve written a lot about how wealth & politics collide, preparation for the fall of democracy and now—a personal transition story. It also led me to creating an organizing system which has space for journaling, dreaming and planning (more on that below).

5. Plan a neighborhood event - I cannot tell you how many dividends in joy this one has brought me. Long story short, after a really tough 2020 with the pandemic, birth of my twins and a devastating hurricane here in my hometown, I wanted to create a real community with my neighbors. It began as a single front porch concert at our home…and now—next week begins our 5th annual Front Porch Series! It’s become a beloved event in the fall that both our neighbors and the surrounding communities adore.
   
   But look, it doesn’t have to be an elaborate concert series. I also plan a block party for Halloween and a Christmas progressive dinner where we have 3 homes host the neighbors over for cocktails & food and we sing Christmas carols as we progress from one house to the next. It’s the best time ever, and some of my closest friends now are my neighbors! The point is, maybe start with a BBQ or a crafting party…our sweet little neighborhood does all of these things (and more) and we all take turns hosting now.
   
   Being with your people is more important then ever these days.

   

6. Strengthen your core social circles through consistent meetups - my core groups are: neighbors, Suppah Club, tennis friends, and mom friends from school. Piggy-backing off of #5…once you create a group of people, be the one to plan routine & consistent meet-ups. I promise, you won’t always have to be the one planning. Once you get the ball rolling and have those great times together, the others will want to start making plans, too.
   
   I have to give a special shout-out to tennis. We belong to a tennis club, which has so many wonderful benefits for the entire family, but you don’t need to belong to a club. Anyone can start with a tennis apprenticeship or join a league, and I know a lot of clubs offer playing opportunities to guests—ours does very often. Tennis combines exercise, mental fitness and socializing all in one. I am obsessed!

   

   yes there is a baby squirrel on my shoe

7. Put joy on the calendar - Make a calendar planning date with your significant other to dream about places you want to go and things you want to do. Then pull the trigger and book them! Andres and I are always sending each other Reels of Christmas Markets in Europe—we love Christmas and when we were surprised to be hit with Christmas decorations and markets in Ireland last November, we decided we should always try to go the extra mile at Christmastime. One of my best friends is from London, and he shared that he would be home for the holidays, and my new optimistic self said, “what if we went to London this December?!” Fast forward 2 weeks, and we had 4 round trip seats, and my girls will be going to Europe for the first time this year!
   
   Side bar - if travel costs are a worry, consider using your credit cards more smartly. The past couple of trips we’ve taken have been mostly paid for by points. Here are my top 2 travel credit card suggestions:
   This one is great for regular travelers and has a 75k Bonus points sign-up.
   I got this one for the incredible 125k bonus points sign-up and 3x points for dining out (vs. 2x for my other one).
   

8. Optimize your groceries - I’m getting very specific for this one because for most households, groceries are the biggest monthly expenditures. I used to just order weekly Walmart grocery deliveries based on what we needed, but when the tariff announcements began, I knew I needed to re-evaluate our spending. The groceries were the main expense and cause of more expenses (if you don’t have enough at home, you dine out more causing even more unnecessary spending.) So naturally, this was a major source of anxiety for me, especially when we had my in-laws visiting. Getting more intentional in this department helped with both spending, anxiety and time—and again, focusing on this one thing led to the lifting of other pain points.

   

9. Organize your money system - this is a big one. I must admit, as someone who is a financial advisor and natural planner, you better believe I’ve always had a money system. I’m very much a wizard at making every dollar have a job. However, for most people, it’s their Achilles heel. So that’s why I’ve spent a lot of time this fall creating 2 accessible new tools:
   
   One for money organization - knowing your exact numbers, creating a bucket system and connecting your money to your (written-down) goals and dreams. This one is ready for you to access & enjoy!
   
   One for preparation - if you attend me and

   Dustin Granger
   ’s upcoming November webinar, you’ll be the first to hear about it and access it!

   

   Because I know when your money isn’t organized or optimized, you can always bet on anxiety over them not being taken care of. Hello! Money is the most stressful issue we all face in our lives! Let’s get your money tidied up.

10. And lastly, put nostalgic movies & music on rotation - start your own list of movies, playlists, books or even playlists that make you feel happy, warm & nostalgic for the happy days of ‘yore. It’s just good for the soul. Lately, I’ve watched: Something’s Gotta Give (rest in peace, dear Diane!), You’ve Got Mail (probably my all-time favorite feel-good movie), Devil Wears Prada (sequel is coming!), It’s Complicated, Call Me By Your Name and also on my list are: Interstellar (annual watch), Bridget Jones’ Diary (annual watch), Fried Green Tomatoes, Steel Magnolias, and of course all the best 90s and early oughts Christmas movies, starting with The Family Stone. I even have a shared note of ideas with my best friend so we can start regular movie nights together.
    
    A full circle moment: one my neighbors/friends is hosting an outdoor Halloween movie night for all the kids tonight!

    

These days, I’m more patient, I have less guilt (oh my god, I would feel guilty about everything), my money scarcity anxiety is better (also in part to my money moves this year), my social media use is down by over 50%, my creativity is peaking, my fuse is a lot longer with my girls and my husband, I’m more productive at work, I am more present and in the moment, I can better handle moments of contention (there’s a lot of that in my family) and I decided to book a family vacation to London during December because we deserve Christmas joy this year, god damnit!

I know it sounds like some cheesy commercial—and early 2025-me would want to strangle me—but I really do feel like my life has changed significantly for the better.

And if there’s one thing I’ve learned this year, it’s that whenever I have an obstacle or fear or hard time with something, almost 100% of the time, a lot of other people are having the same issues.

So this my attempt to leave the ladder down for you. If you’ve been struggling and you feel like you just need a bit of help to carry the heavy load, I hope you consider some of these options.

I also want to hear about what has been helping you. Because we cannot fight fascism when we’re in a hole—we need mental strength and fortitude, friends!

Cheers,

Danielle

Disclosure: ​The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual. All investing involves risk including loss of principal. No strategy assures success or protects against loss.